If you’ve been in my world the last few months, you know that I recently married my love.
We also just moved to our dream city of Denver, Colorado, we have a dog we shamelessly spoil, my business is thriving, and Stevie is cranking out his side hustle, and is moving on up at his day job at the Department of Interior.
Life is good. Like, pinch-me-is-this-real-life good.
Even if I have days where I feel a little anxious, blah, or down, it’s not *that* bad. I can look around and see that my life is looking more and more like the dream life I’ve had in my head for years. I have the tools to work through those uncomfortable emotions and difficult times. (Because, I’m still human!)
But this didn’t happen overnight, and it definitely didn’t happen by accident.
I’ve worked so hard on my spirituality, my personal growth, and my relationships to be where I am today.
Recently, I realized I’ve told my story of how I found love in bits and pieces here and there, but never all together in one place….Until now!
This is part one in a six-part mini series about how I found love, and created my dream life.
So if you’ve ever wondered…
“Veronica, how did you go from attracting emotionally unavailable guys to finding love?”
“How did you know when you met Stevie?”
“How did you keep going even when you were heartbroken?”
…this mini series is for you!
I’ll release one new installment every week for six weeks, starting today. I hope my story inspires you to pursue love, even when the world seems cynical, jaded, or shallow. [ctt title=”I promise that you can create your own reality. And if I could do it, then you can too.” tweet=”I promise that you can create your own reality. And if I could do it, then you can too.” coverup=”sb966″]
My first coach taught me that if I can see it, then I can have it. I’ve ran with that and have never looked back. I believe that to my bones. If you can see it, then in the words of my favorite coach, Coach Taylor, then “this is yours for the taking.”
And this is the story of how it all happened for me:
Part One, aka, looking for my soulmate since 1997 (Ted Mosby style)
When I started middle school, I quickly met my best friend (who’s still one of my best friends today), and she immediately turned me onto boys.
In fact, her journal is an impeccable chronology of my middle school dating, and would probably make for a sweet guilty pleasure worthy Netflix series.
Anyways…I can remember having a few crushes in 5th grade, but it was her that opened to my eyes to the ideas of passing notes in school, kisses behind the bleachers, and awkward slow dances.
And I was hooked.
By age 11, I wanted to find the person I was going to spend forever with. I know it sounds crazy, but I really think I wanted this, even from a very young age.
I loved the excitement, the chase, and knowing that I had my “person,” even if it was only in a very 6th grade kind of way. I loved talking about boys with my friends, and I loved helping them to “ask out” the boy they had a crush on too.
In fact, I probably asked many boys out on behalf of my friends. What can I say? I’ve loved love from an early age. 🙂
In high school, my older sister married her college sweetheart, and I was even more hooked. I wanted the same thing to happen to me. If I couldn’t have the high school sweetheart love story, I definitely wanted the college sweetheart story.
Fast forward to the beginning of college, I was on a mission to find my husband.
And since I really wanted to marry someone Jewish, my horse blinders were on. In fact, I remember sitting in a Jewish fraternity’s house at UNC one time thinking to myself, “Man, these are my options as to who I’m going to marry.”
(By the way, this is so embarrassing to admit. But the funny thing is, I did almost marry one of those guys… but we’ll get to that.)
The problem was, as much as I wanted a real, meaningful relationship, I seemed so far from it.
I kept attracting guys who were only interested in hooking up. I remember going out with friends, and looking around at group and mentally scan who was in a relationship. And it seemed like everyone but me.
Even my friends who didn’t want to be in a relationship were getting into relationships.
WTF?! For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what the hell I was doing wrong.
Obviously, I didn’t know this then, but my confidence and ensuing lack of self-respect was seriously lacking.
I’d always been shy, and now in the social scene of college, I covered that up by trying to attract the attention I wanted. I felt I had better control that way.
So I was a ‘woo girl,’ I acted obnoxiously with friends to get attention from guys I thought were cute, and I let the guys I liked call the shots in terms of when we were hanging out and what the relationship (or really, lack thereof) would be.
Also, during my first year of college, I befriended one of those Jewish guys from the fraternity, and he ended up being one of my best friends. We hung out every day, he made me laugh like no one else, and he listened to allllll my guy problems.
We were this close for 3 years. Then finally, at the end of junior year, he confessed his love for me. Of course I loved him as a friend, but I didn’t see him that way, so I turned him down.
Then summer came and went, and we were back for our senior year. I told him I changed my mind and that I wanted to give us a go. Looking back, I know I said yes to him because I was in love with the story.
He was going to be my college sweetheart, just like my sister, and our story was just so adorable. Everyone said “FINALLY!” when we told people we were together, which only fed my belief that I had been wrong. I believed that this really was the right move because the our story was just so rom-com worthy.
I truly did adore being with him, he was one of my best friends after all. The problem was, we had different life plans. I really wanted to go to grad school abroad to pursue Middle Eastern Studies, and he was going straight into a PhD program in the northeast.
During the school year, we ignored that slight problem, assumed we’d just be long distance, and would eventually get married. Graduation came and went, and the second we became long distance, everything unraveled.
The distance revealed my real feelings towards him. Even though I deeply cared for him, I realized I didn’t love him in that romantic way. So I broke his heart, he hated me, and I was devastated to lose a best friend.
So I went abroad, and the next two hearts that would be broken would both be mine…And that takes us to the next chapter of my saga (How I Met Your Mother Style) … coming next week!