Day 3: This one’s a tough one...

Day 3’s challenge is a bit different than the other days.

But it’s critical piece to the love puzzle, and it’s so under talked about. Tomorrow, I want you to spend some time journaling and reflecting about where you learned about men, relationships, and love.

  • What was the relationship like between your mom and dad (or whoever raised you)?
  • What was your relationship like with your mom or dad (or again, whoever raised you)?
  • What did your parents tell you about men, love and relationships?
  • Maybe your dad wasn’t around much growing up, or maybe he just wasn’t there emotionally. And your mom spent her marriage trying to please him. Now you’re overly concerned with how HE feels instead of how YOU feel.
  • Maybe you didn’t get attention from your mom or dad unless you “performed,” like got a good grade or won a soccer game. So you learned that love and affection were conditional.
  • Maybe another sibling was favored or you were neglected, so you never felt good enough.
  • Maybe your mother told you you had to look and act a certain way to get a man’s attention.
  • Maybe you felt like the black sheep of your family, and now you feel like you’re “too much” for someone.
  • Maybe you’ve never seen a healthy relationship, and now you don’t even know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look and feel like.
  • Or maybe you believe your parents’ relationship is perfect, and now, no one will ever reach that standard.

The possibilities are endless.

The point is, most of our interactions in romantic relationships are us playing out unresolved issues from childhood.

Our brains develop core beliefs and patterns from a very young age. And that’s pretty much the prism in which we see the world.

…Unless we do something about it. And that’s what today’s challenge is all about.

  • If you want to know why you always attract the unavailable guys, while others can’t stay single, this is where you start.
  • If you want to know why you always end up with narcissists, this is where you start.
  • If you want to understand why someone tells you they aren’t ready for a relationship, then you learn they married the next person they date, this is where you start.
  • If you want to know why you have trouble being intimate, vulnerable, or communicating your boundaries… you guessed it, this is where you start.

IMPORTANT: This can get uncomfortable. And bring up all kind of feels.But the truth is, if you want things to change, you gotta get a little uncomfortable.

No more pushing down your emotions or believing losing five more pounds will land you your dream relationship. (It won’t.)

If you want a deep, meaningful relationship that feels supported and equal, this is the work you must do. It’s not optional. Also, to be clear, this isn’t about blaming. This is not about making your parents wrong.

One of my core beliefs is that every single person is doing the best they can with the tools they have. People don’t know what they don’t know. Your parents were doing the best they could. And there’s a good chance that if they hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally in any way, they were also hurting and were just trying to cope.

  • Tomorrow, I want you to spend some time journaling about this. Again, here are the questions I want you to think about (and a few more too):
  • What was the relationship like between your mom and dad (or whoever raised you)?
  • What was your relationship like with your mom or dad (or again, whoever raised you)?
  • What did your parents tell you about men, love and relationships?
  • Do you resent your parents in any way now? If so, what about?
  • Are you playing the victim card? How so?
  • What’s the story you tell yourself about relationships? How is it serving you?

Phew. This one can definitely wipe you out.

But trust me, this step is crucial to breaking patterns and inviting in new experiences in love. Snap a photo of your journal or where you’re going to journal this, and please share on Instagram or Facebook. Use the hashtag #DateYourselfChallenge + tag me, @veronicaegrant (or with my page on FB) so I can count your entry.

Remember, each post on Insta or in the Facebook group is an entry to win fun prizes from me. (Including some 1x1 time with me!)

PS – Tomorrow’s date is a tough one, so let me support you. Join me LIVE in 30 minutes (at 7:30ET/5:30pm MT) on Facebook or Instagram. I’ll be sharing more about today’s date AND answering your burning relationship and love Q’s.

A few reminders:

  • Each date should be something you do BY YOURSELF. Yes, we love our mothers, friends, and kids. But this challenge is about you cultivating an irresistible relationship with yourself so that you can attract an irresistible relationship.
  • Progress, not perfection! Depending on your schedule, you may be able to spend an hour or more on your date, or just 5 minutes. Either is perfect! Be where you are, and celebrate.

Enter your email address and I'll send you my checklist!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Enter your email address and I'll send you the meditation

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest