Hello and welcome to day four of the 2020 Love Vision Podcast Challenge. This week on the podcast, I’m doing something a little different in celebration of Valentine’s Day. I want to help you get refocused on your love life so you get unstuck and can move forward. Each day this week on the podcast, I’m releasing a mini episode that will help you get clear on your goals and your love life, overcome blocks getting in your way, and you’ll end the challenge with creating some tangible action steps that will change your love life. Today is day four and it’s all about trusting love. So if you haven’t listened to days one, two, and three yet, I highly recommend you start there first. It’ll make today’s topic much more understandable.
Today is all about trusting love and trusting something new.
So today is all about trusting love and trusting something new. Now, this might seem counterintuitive or it might even feel like it doesn’t apply to you or you don’t think you fall into this trap, but I think most of us do, and part of that is because of biology, which I’ll explain in a minute. But sometimes what you actually want, so in this case, you want a healthy, happy, loving partnership with someone that ideally lasts for many years, if not your life, and a lot of times that can actually feel so scary that you might actually sabotage yourself. Sabotaging yourself can look like continuing to pick the “wrong” guys. It can look like continuing to stay single and not even try to date. It can look like just going on date after date like a freaking robot and not trying anything different. It can also look like putting off getting support in this area from a coach or a therapist who can actually help you do some of the work, so that your patterns and habits change.
Now, the reason why we do this, I mean, for a lot of reasons, but the biggest thing is any kind of change, whether it’s a change towards something that you don’t know anything about or a change you don’t want, or even if it’s towards a change of something that you want, it can still feel really, really scary. Our brain is wired to operate on autopilot. Our brain just wants to use the littlest amount of energy it takes to perform a task. And this isn’t a bad thing, right? This is a good thing. Imagine how exhausting life would be if you had to consciously think about every single little thing that you did each day. If you had to consciously think, “Okay, I’m going to put my sock on, and then I put my shoe on, and put my foot in my shoe, and then I’ll tighten the laces,” I mean, that would just be exhausting.
That’s what it’s like when you’re a two, or three, or four, or five year old, you’re just learning the drills of day to day life, but eventually, all of these things that we do just become nature, becomes habit and we can do them on autopilot. And because we can do so many things on autopilot, that allows us to do a lot of other things like do our jobs and have deep intimate relationships, and it allows us to do things like rock climb, or run, or hike, or play an instrument, or write a book, or do all these other things that we get to do as humans.
You know how to deal with the frustrations and the feelings around being upset or feeling lonely. You just know what to do. And there’s definitely a familiarity in that, there’s a comfort in that.
When it comes to your love life, it really is no different. You may not want to sit at home every night feeling sorry for yourself about your love life. You may not want to continue going on date after date after date that leads to nowhere. You may not want to continue attracting unhealthy relationships. But on some level, there’s a comfort there. You know what to do. You know how to handle it. You know how to deal with the frustrations and the feelings around being upset or feeling lonely. You just know what to do. And there’s definitely a familiarity in that, there’s a comfort in that. And sometimes that comfort can sometimes feel like love, and that makes it really hard to: a) be attracted to someone who’s actually exhibiting healthy, happy relationships. And also what it can do is it can just make it really scary to do something different.
So today’s assignment is a little bit different. I don’t really have that many journaling questions for you because honestly, when it comes to trusting the unknown, which is basically what I’m asking you to do, it’s really something you have to practice. It’s an experience you have to have. You can’t really intellectualize yourself through it. And while journaling can definitely be an emotional experience, for sure, I think it’s more of a mental exercise, right? Because you’re processing your thoughts, you’re writing things down, and I think it really helps you to organize your thoughts, and to think about your thoughts, and to put them into certain ways and logic, and that can help you reframe and create different stories. Super important, super powerful, but also sometimes we just need to trust. We need to trust that even if we get into a relationship that makes us really nervous and you might get your heartbroken, you can survive and it’s not going to mean anything about who you are or your worthiness or any of those things.
And so I think the only way to really create that kind of trust is through doing. Evidence ultimately breeds confidence. And so you have to do it over and over again. One of my favorite ways to do it is actually to do it through meditation. And so if you download the workbook for this podcast challenge, then when you get to the day four page, there’s actually going to be a link in there that will take you to a meditation that’s all about just giving yourself tons and tons and tons of love. And for a lot of you, this might feel really, really uncomfortable because it’s just not a state of being that you’re used to having. Even if you feel like, “Well, yeah, I feel like I love myself or I can give myself love that feels normal and natural,” well, remember this isn’t just about doing pedicures or buying yourself flowers, which I love those things, don’t get me wrong. This is really more work on the emotional and the spiritual level, which actually we’ll talk about a little bit more tomorrow.
So I want you to try this meditation, try the exercise that I give you in the workbook so that you can begin to build that self-trust and that self-love, which will ultimately help you to naturally be more vulnerable because you won’t be feeling like you need to act a certain way or be a certain way in order to be good enough or in order to be loved. Okay, so to download the meditation, head over to veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge, and there you can download the workbook for free. And remember, so far in this challenge, you know where you are now. You know where you want to go. You know where some of the blocks that are going to either slow you down or altogether prevent you from getting you to where you want to go. Now, think of this step as kind of just like a pep talk, like, okay, I can go this new route. I can do this new thing differently. I’m worth investing this time and energy into myself to do this, and I can do it and it’s possible for me. That’s what today is all about.
I can go this new route. I can do this new thing differently. I’m worth investing this time and energy into myself to do this, and I can do it and it’s possible for me. That’s what today is all about.
So again, I would love to hear what you think and what comes up for you. You can come join me over on Instagram, I’m @veronicaegrant. Send me a DM or a comment on one of my photos and let me know. If you’re not over on the ‘Gram, that’s totally fine. Head over to veronicagrant.com/contact and send me your questions or what came up for you. I would love to hear from you. I really, really would and I responded to everything that comes my way.
All right, that is a wrap for day four. Again, to grab the workbook, veronicagrant.com/podcastchallenge. And if you’ve been thinking that I might help you get out of your dating patterns and truly transform your relationships as I’ve done in my own life and the lives of oh-so many of my clients and help you craft a life that serves you, I’d love to work with you. My clients have left toxic relationships, started to actually enjoy dating and meeting people, met their partners, gotten married, and even had some babies. You can also expect to grow in your career, spirituality, sense of self and more because, guess what? You are the common denominator in your own life.
So if you’re ready for massive transformation and are no longer available to stay stuck, I’d love to help you get out of this pattern. Head over to veronicagrant.com/coaching to learn more and take the next step, which is to schedule an introductory call with me. During our call together, we’ll get to know each other and see if working together is the next right step for you. Again, that’s veronicagrant.com/coaching.
All right, that’s it. I will see you tomorrow where we’re diving into day five, which is the last day of the podcast challenge, and we’re going to dive into taking one action step towards love. See you then.
Thanks for listening to the Love Life Connection podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode at veronicagrant.com/podcast, and that’s also the place you can sign up to be coached by me here on the show. And if you love this podcast, please leave a review over on Apple Podcasts. It helps more incredible women like you find the show and find real love.
Until next time, remember, wherever you are is exactly where you need to be. You’re not broken and you don’t need to be fixed. Just because you’ve never had the relationship you want before, doesn’t mean you can’t have it now.
After you listen to this episode, here are your next steps:
- Don’t forget to download your workbook for this challenge.
- Learn more about how your past can impact your love life and how to break old patterns in my virtual retreat, Shift Your Dating Patterns In A Weekend, March 7-8, 2020.
- Ready to explore what working with me is like? Learn more here.
- Interested in being coached on the Love Live Connection? Learn more here.
- Are we connected on Instagram? Come tell me WHO you are here!
- If you get value from the Love Life Connection, please rate & review it on Apple Podcasts. It only takes a sec to impact our ranking + it’ll help other women find our community!