• A Soulful Response to the US Presidential Elections

    I’ve got a very important message for you – please read the whole thing.

    I’m writing this in the early morning hours after the US presidential election. I’ve been a puddle of emotions all morning, and tears are streaming down my face as I write.

    I can’t get over how last night was a huge setback for women. And it’s not because a woman lost. Or even that it was Donald Trump who won.

    It’s because a man who bragged and joked about groping women, then later claimed his accusers were lying on the basis of how they looked, was elected to the most powerful office in the world.

    I know there are many women in this community, my clients included, who’ve been raped, sexually assaulted, verbally abused, and/or made to believe that you have to have sex in order for a man to be interested in you.

    And I’ve spoken with women who feel powerless when it comes to dating: the guy has to make the first move, he has ask you out, or initiate the ‘where is this going conversation.’

    Either way, hundreds of women in this community have had their power taken away by force or have given it away to a man.

    Healthy relationships can’t exist when the man has all the power, or when the woman is so scared or distrustful (usually because she’s been burned many times) she keeps her power hidden by building walls around her heart. This at best leads to a toxic and unhappy relationship, and at worst, to a relationship full of dishonesty, resentment, and even abuse.

    Look, this isn’t about politics or specific policies of the candidates. And I’ll admit that I wasn’t the biggest fan of Hillary even though I did support her. This really isn’t about that.

    I’m way more concerned that Trump’s victory will continue to reinforce the belief and cultural norms that men have the power when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships.

    …That somehow it’s our fault when we get cat-called in the street or groped in a bar.

    …That we are objects that have to look, do, and be a certain way to get the attention of men.

    …That if we want to wait or aren’t ready to have sex with someone, we’ll be labeled as prude and won’t ever be able to get into a relationship.

    …That if we ask for what we want in a relationship we’ll be called a bitch or needy.

    …That when we get into an argument with our partner and they always blame us, we to internalize it and begin to believe that everything is our fault.

    …That men have the power, and we can’t make the first move, initiate a date, or have any say in the relationship or where it’s going.

    …That we don’t have to hold men to appropriate standards, and making excuses that he’s tired, work is stressful, he has kids, as reasons why he hasn’t called or why he can’t drive to see you for a date.

    …That it’s normal to care about how he’s feeling more than how you’re feeling.

    …That if a he rejects you it’s because of how you look, who you are, or your inherent worthiness.

    …That really, men do have all the power, and perhaps it’s better to let them take it or give it all to them.

    I didn’t make any of this stuff up. These beliefs come directly from many of you, sharing with me so vulnerably your deepest fears and beliefs you’re afraid to admit you have.

    And I’m not blaming Donald Trump for this. These beliefs have long been perpetuated by past generations, Hollywood, the media, and professional sports team who refuse to do anything about sex offenders playing on their team

    Institutions are certainly slow to change, but we’ve been moving in the right direction. And while I still think we’re moving in the right direction, last night was an enormous setback.

    I often tell my clients that doing the self-growth work, like choosing love over fear, trusting the process, and forgiveness is easy when things are going well. But the real work is staying on the course when everything around you seems to be uncertain.

    Because now, the world and we need to raise our consciousness more than ever.

    And totally coincidentally, (See, the universe is supporting us!), this week on Date Yourself Radio I have a brand new interview out with a sexuality expert all about the female and sexual empowerment. Make sure you take a listen here. (Or look for it by searching Date Yourself Radio in iTunes or Stitcher.)

    This isn’t over.

    Choose to stay the course.

    Choose love over fear.

    Chose to keep empowering yourself.

    Choose to rise above.

    And please, please don’t ever believe you have to be fixed, you’re broken, or that you have to give away your power to be loved.

    We’re all in this together.

    All my love,

    Veronica

    4 Dating Mindset Mistakes + How To Avoid Them

    4 Dating Mindset Mistakes + How To Avoid Them

    If you’re dating, and looking to attract your ideal partner,  it can be frustrating + demoralizing when it seems like everyone around you is a couple.

    Maybe you’ve tried the same dating sites as your friends.  Maybe you’ve followed the texting advice on those sites, those words  to “keep him interested.”

    Here’s the thing:   Technology has made dating…tricky. You may yearn  to go back to the traditional days of dating.  Yet almost all of us are guilty of swiping left perhaps too many times, playing the texting game, or stalking our date on the social media channels.

    So as everyone around you seems to be coupling off, you believe that something may be wrong with you.   Or that you’re not doing something right, and to compensate, that you need to learn how to play the dating game better.

    And that’s when the second guessing starts.

    • “Should I had said that?”
    • “What should I text him?”
    • “Should I pull back to play it cool?”
    • “I can tell he’s seen my text! Why hasn’t he responded?!”

    Dating quickly turns into winners + losers: the winner gets the next date, and the loser gets hurt. The thing is, though, dating isn’t a zero-sum game.

    But the way it’s played out, in part because of cultural shifts + technology advances over the last 20 years, it certainly feels like a zero-sum game. And honestly, most people treat it as such, often without even meaning to.

    Here’s the truth:

    You CAN learn how to play the game better. You CAN learn little scripts or texts that’ll provoke curiosity to make him want more.

    But if he’s not the right match for you, then why does it matter if you get that 2nd date?

    When you can be your most authentic self, and in turn attract an authentic man, then the dating game, and ALL its rules become obsolete. And that is my #1 goal I have for all my clients.

    That doesn’t mean you automatically meet Mr. Right once you enter this new dating mindset, but it does mean you attract higher quality men, better potential matches, and… you just may enjoy dating again.

    So what’s preventing you from this authentic dating mindset? In my experience, I find there to be 4 mindset mistakes most women make when dating.

    I’m going to lay them out for you, show you how they work against you, and what mindset beliefs to replace them with. This will not only make dating feel more fun + less icky, but will more quickly attract the RIGHT relationship to you.

    dating mindset mistakes

    Mistake #1: Dating is a game, and not something to be taken at face value.

    Let’s set the record straight. To date, and meet high quality men, you don’t have to play the game.

    Yes, technology has made dating tricky. And argued by some, awful. But here’s the thing: technology has also made dating really wonderful.

    When I was online dating, I loved that it allowed me to meet men, and when I went out with my friends, I could focus on being with them, rather than feeling like I needed to scope out the scene. It’s amazing to have so many potential matches at your fingertips, even if you’re busy, and even if you live in a small town.

    Interestingly, most of women I’ve worked with claim to hate the dating game, but almost all of them have perpetuated it in some way {often without even meaning to}.

    Here’s how you perpetuate the game:

    • Playing hard to get
    • Interpreting his text {please just take it at face value}
    • Overanalyzing… should I text him during the work day? I’ve seen him online during the day, but not sure…
    • Not asking for what you want {Do you want a 2nd date? You want to know what his plans are? Just ask.}

    Staying the in game is draining, energetically, emotionally, and physically.

    Getting out of the game, saying how you feel or asking for what you want is hard. And it feels incredibly vulnerable. That’s because it is.

    But here’s the thing, if it’s not the right person, you just saved yourself a boatload of time, energy, and heartache figuring that out earlier rather than later.

    I truly believe, to the deepest marrow of my bones, that when you’re attracting the right kind of person at your most authentic state, the dating rules become obsolete. Dating feels easy + natural, and something you can enjoy, whether or not the person you’re on a date with at that moment will be the person you end up with.

    Mistake #2: You future-trip.

    Future-tripping was the story of my dating career, and I describe it as allowing your mind to race ahead of present time.

    Here’s what it looks like:

    Before or during the first date, you’re already trying out his last name, you start imagining your future relationship, or even simply obsess about when the 2nd date will happen. {Often before the 1st date ever happens!}

    Future-tripping trips you up in 2 main ways: First, it’s impossible to be your authentic, natural self when your head is in the clouds. The person you’re on a date with wants to get to know you, they want to add value to the conversation, and they want you to add value too.

    When you’re not fully present on a date, the potential for meaningful connection is severed. It’s like trying to build a level bridge when one side of the chasm is much higher than the other.

    Not gonna happen.

    The other thing that happens when you future trip, is it becomes incredibly easy to fall in love with the IDEA of him or the relationship. I can’t tell you how many times this happened to me or my clients. I’ve gone a few dates with someone who’s just generally not a good match: we don’t have similar interests, values, or personalities, yet I’m in love with theidea of him.

    Those types of relationships tend to end with especially bad, because we think we’re in love with them, and yet, feelings are not reciprocated.

    Mistake #3: You consciously or even unconsciously start planning your time around his or when your next potential dates will be.

    I used to think that I could make a guy like me more by spending more time with him. My theory was simple: the more time they spent with the me, the more they’d get to know me, the more they’d love me!

    Sounds pretty good, right?

    The problem is, it’s highly unattractive to a potential {high quality} partner to always be available.

    This begs the questions… Do you have a life? Do you have a job? Friends? Hobbies? Things you care about? Values? Interests?

    Before you become too busy for him, know that this gets into a potential gray area. It becomes a slippery slope from maintaining your life to playing the dating game.

    A simple, “Hey, I can’t meet up on Sunday because it’s my time to batch cook my meals for the week, but right now it’s looking like Tuesday or Thursday evening could work!”

    Not only does this keep you operating in your life the way you want, it also shows the guy you value yourself, your health, and your time. And guess what? He will too! {And if this is a turn off to him, he was never going to be a good match for you anyway.}

    Have time set aside for dating, but don’t let it impede the things that are important to you.

    Mistake #4: You size him up to your perfect man checklist.

    The first thing I have my clients do when we work together is to throw out their perfect man lists. Perfect man lists are often based on our beliefs, cultural references {of what we ‘ought’ to want}, and eliminates potentially great matches.

    It may go without saying that features such as weight, height, or appearance is shallow, but even more substantive characteristics can block love too. An honest look at my former perfect man list was was essentially the female version of myself.

    Not only did that represent a relatively narrow minded view of who was good enough for me {My list was largely based on income, career, and education}, it eliminated any possibility of balance or growth in a relationship.

    The truth in the saying “opposites attract” is the need for balance + growth within ourselves, our relationships, and our lives.

    Stevie is not even close to my perfect man list, but he balances me..and pushes me in ways that the male version of Veronica could never have.

    When you go on a date + begin to size up your date to your perfect man list, not only is this similar to mistake #3 in that it takes you out of present time, but it makes dating feel like a job interview.

    Instead of a perfect man list, get clear on how you want your relationship + your partner to make you feel. There are many ways your partner can make you feel loved, beautiful, or cherished, and it has nothing to do with his height, career, or education.

    Now that you know the 4 biggest dating mindset mistakes most women make, I want you to know the mindsets that’ll set you free from the dating game + make it most possible for you to attract the relationship you desire.

    The best way to foster a new mindset?

    Date Yourself.

    When you date yourself, you stop dating the wrong men, and start attracting the right ones to you. You feel confident on dates + you get clear on what you actually do want in a relationship.

    Best of all, the dating game + all its rules become obsolete.

    I invite you to join the 100% FREE Date Yourself challenge below!

    3 mindset mistakes to stop making for more successful dating

    3 mindset mistakes to stop making for more successful dating

    Last Friday, I told you the common thread underlying most obstacles to dating + relationships is you. More specifically, your mind. Your mind is a beautiful thing, but it can too easily get in the way of what you want most. 

    Your mind can send you circles, leading you down a rabbit hole of over-thinking, judgement, and playing safe, making successful dating nearly impossible. 

    Today, I’m going to share with you top 3 mindset traps that keep you from the relationship you want.

    But before that, if you haven’t sign up for my free training on creating new dating paradigms for yourself in 2016, you can do that here.

    And now on to the top 3 mindset mistakes: 

     

    Mindset Trap 1: The all-or-nothing mindset, turning dating on + off like a faucet

    You decide you’re “on,” so you log onto your dating app, browse lots of profiles, and schedule multiple dates. After a few weeks, none of the dates go well, leaving you drained + jaded. 

    When you’re “on,” dating feels hard, time consuming, and overwhelming. You’re also probably dating for the one, rather than for fun.

    Even if you meet a great potential match when you’re “on”, you may not even realize it because you’re so exhausted!

    After being “on,” you pull a 180 + turn dating “off.” No dating sites, you’re closed when you meet potential men in person, and you profess you’re gonna “work on yourself.”

    To fill in the time you normally spend dating, you may indulge yourself with a good Netflix binge, focus on your career, or train for a marathon.

    There is NOTHING wrong with any of that. But check yourself: are you “working on yourself” or are you numbing, hiding behind something, or filling a void? 

    The all or nothing mindset is exhausting, not sustainable, and doesn’t work. It’s an endless cycle between exhaustion + numbing.

    Instead, you need a plan that meets your dating goals AND your personal needs.

     

    Mindset Trap 2: Believing limiting beliefs 

    Limiting beliefs are beliefs you hold that are usually related to yourself + your identity. While they may be based on fact or your past experiences, generally, they are not true.

    For example, when I talk with women about their struggles with dating or beliefs about why they’re single when they don’t want to be, this is what I hear: 

    – This city sucks for dating
    – There are no good men
    – I’ve tried all the dating sites
    – At my age, there are only divorcees left
    – Anyone still single at my age is a red flag in itself
    – I have to focus on my career
    – I intimidate men, I’m too successful/make too much money
    – I have a hard time dating because I’m a minority
    – I don’t have time to date {Yup! That one’s a biggie.}

    Have you ever said any of those things? 

    Look, there may have been an instance {or a few} when you did intimidate a guy because of your successes + sure, every city is different.

    But…

    None of the excuses above are absolutely true. The problem is, we act like they are absolutely true. Worse, when we do believe these excuses, they often become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

    These are excuses to hide behind so you feel better about when dating isn’t working. It is so much easier to blame something or someone else than to take a deeper look inside. 

    But when you can drop these excuses + limiting beliefs, you dramatically open yourself up to meet the right person. 

     

    Mindset Trap 3: Believe you can figure it out alone

    You’re smart, confident, got a great education, have advanced degrees, maybe even shattered a few glass ceilings on the way. 

    Life is moving along nicely, except you don’t have anyone to share it with. 

    A lot of your other friends are married or in committed relationships, and they did that without help. And you’re smart, so why would you need any?

    This is where your mind gets in the way.

    You’re independent, self-sufficient, and probably a bit stubborn. Asking for help would be admitting that you don’t know all the tools or what to do. It would be infringing on your independence + successes until now. 

    The truth is you don’t NEED any help, my help or anyone else’s. You could figure this stuff out on your own. Plenty of people have. But here’s the irony:

    Asking for help is vulnerable. And vulnerability doesn’t come naturally to you. {It doesn’t come naturally to me either.}

    It’s admitting that you don’t know something, you’re stuck, or simply that you know what to do, but need support staying on track.

    If dating has been a struggle for you, take that first {and maybe scariest step}, and reach out for help.

    You can start by signing up for my free online workshop on creating a new dating paradigm for yourself in 2016. 

    In this free workshop, I’ll teach you how to release old boyfriends, patterns, and beliefs so you can make room for the new this year + be ready when the right guy comes along.

    >>Join us here.<<

    Sending you lots of love,

    Veronica

    PS – If you haven’t signed up for my FREE training to help you create a new dating paradigm for yourself in 2016, click here and get yourself registered. Even if you can’t make it live, I’ll send you the recording (though NOTHING beats live)!

    P.P.S. – Completely unrelated, if you live in Dallas + want to take a group yoga class with me, I’m offering a 4 week, New Year, New You Yoga series. To learn more + sign up, click here.

    What’s REALLY in the way of the relationship you want

    What’s REALLY in the way of the relationship you want

    Happy New Year!

    I have to say, even though I try to not wish time away, I’m really looking forward to 2016.

    Normally, I get a bit gloomy in January + February because we’re coming off my favorite time of the year {October thru December} to just cold, dark, and damp.

    But this year, I’m really excited for 2016.

    I spent a lot of 2015 figuring things out, learning, and building foundations. I moved from Washington, DC to Dallas, TX, it was my first year I worked for myself full time, rebranded my business twice, and moved in with my boyfriend in an unfamiliar city.

    It was really hard.

    I could’ve so easily called quits on a lot of things in my personal + professional life, but I’m so thankful I didn’t. I have a really strong foundation in my business, my new city, and with Stevie to build beautiful things this year.

    So now I’m curious, looking back at 2015, were you able to build a strong foundation so you can build what you want in your life this year?

    Have you figured out what’s holding you back in getting into a meaningful relationship? Do you know truly how to treat yourself the way you want to be treated? Do you know by what values you want to live your life {And not what your mother, friends, or society thinks}?

    If not, it’s okay — I want to help you get there.

    In 2015, you may have had zero time to date + so you distracted yourself with your career, running marathons, or Netflix {more about that next week…}.

    Or maybe you did date, but you didn’t meet quality men, had unmatched expectations with the ones you did go out with, and then had a series of relationships that went nowhere.

    Perhaps you couldn’t shake your ex, didn’t fully process the relationship, and before you know it, you’re right back into old dating patterns.

    Though frustrating, we unconsciously stay in these patterns because they are ‘safe.’ You don’t have to do any deeper work to figure out what’s blocking you. {Note: this is 100% normal. You are NOT the only person that does this. Please be easy on yourself.}

    But deep down, you know the cycle you’re in isn’t going to get you where you really want to go.

    And where you really want to go is to be in a place where dating is fun, you meet great potential partners, and eventually, one of them turns into a long term, committed partnership.

    Imagine…

    – Having someone to ‘do’ life with

    – Being a confident woman who can succeed in her career AND be vulnerable to the right men

    – An intimate relationship full of love, support, and trust

    Let me be the first to tell you: You can create new dating experiences for yourself in 2016. Dating doesn’t have to be so hard, draining, or time consuming.

    So what’s the underlying problem? What’s REALLY holding you back from the relationship you desire + deserve?

    It’s not the city you live in or the dating app you use. You aren’t too successful, you don’t make too much money, nor are the men you date the problem. And yes, you do have time to date.

    It’s you, m’dear.

    I’m not trying to be harsh {though my clients do tell me I’m full of tough love}. It’s just that you haven’t built a strong foundation.

    You haven’t done the work to release your blocks or figure out what you REALLY want in a relationship outside of what is cliche. And worse, you’re living in your head, over-analyzing everything, thinking too much about the ifs + the shoulds, and ultimately, psyching yourself out.

    Don’t get me wrong, your mind is a beautiful thing: it got you to where you are today. You are a smart, successful woman because of it.

    But don’t let it fool you.

    It can also be your worst enemy, especially when you are required to listen to your intuition, communicate openly, and be vulnerable.

    If you’re ready to get out of your own way + into the relationship you desire this year, I invite you to my free online workshop on creating a new dating paradigm for yourself in 2016.

    This workshop will help you get out of your own way + build the foundation you need for a fulfilling relationship.

    >>Click here to join us.<<

    And stay tuned, on Tuesday, I’m sharing with you the top 3 ways most women get in their own way when it comes to dating + relationships.

    Talk to you then, and sending you lots of *tough* love,

    Veronica

    p.s. – The webinar is on January 12th. Don’t worry if you can’t make it, if you want the info, still sign up + I’ll send you the recording.

    My Favorite Things

    My Favorite Things

    Merry Christmas, y’all! {If you’re celebrating!} I’m in South Carolina with the family, enjoying some sweets, gift exchanging, and best of all, getting some much needed R&R. I hope wherever you are, you are too enjoying some radical self-care.

    Today’s post is super fun…“My 2015 Favorite Things List,” a collection of time- and sanity-saving tools, the best self-care + dating tools I recommend, inspiring books, and more.

    If you’re a busy women who wants to have more time for YOU in 2016, with a bit more fun, guilty pleasures, and a little bit of learning, this list is for you.

    I’m broken up the list into these categories:

    • Self care like you mean it
    • Productivity/time management-ninja tools
    • Things that are inspiring

    and

    • Date like a pro

    Enjoy! I hope you love this.

     

    Self-Care Like You Mean It

    • This balance-everything-I’m-bloated-tea: 1 part fennel, 1 part cumin, 1 part coriander. Bloated? Gasy? Overate? Whatever it is, this tea will make you feel better. Optional to add some honey for sweetness.
    • I’m really loving YogaGlo, an online yoga studio with hundreds of classes, any style, any level, and great teachers. If I can’t make it to the studio, I love that there are more than enough classes here for me to choose from, and there are classes from 5 minutes to 90 minutes. No excuses. #yogaeverydamnday Best of all, it’s $18 a month! A steal!
    • Working with a coach is one of the best personal + professional decisions I’ve EVER made. {I put my money where my mouth is. I work with my own coach, so I can personally attest to how powerful working with a coach can be. Interested in what it could be like for me to help you get out there + date? Schedule a free call here to find out.}
    • Meditation. A 10-minute morning meditation practice has been my anecdote to pretty much everything. On days I don’t get meditation in, I feel sluggish, like I’m chasing the day, and as a result more stressed. Try this meditation I made for you on last week’s post.

     

    Productivity/Time-Management Ninja Tools:

    • If you don’t know the magic of pomodoros, then you don’t know the magic of getting more done in less time. Close all your windows, put your phone away, and for 25 minutes, crank.it.out. Then do whatever you want for 5 minutes. Do that for a few rounds, and you’ll wish you had this tool years ago! Check out this free tool here.
    • Unroll.me. I LOVE this tool. You can “roll” up all your newsletters you’re subscribed to + get it in 1 digestible email. AMAZING. You can also bulk unsubscribe to lists you don’t even remember subscribing to. Holy moly it’s amazing.
    • Boomerang: manage your inbox like a pro. If email feels like your 2nd job or emails get lost in the shuffle, get this tool NOW. With this tool, you can have sent emails come back to the top of your inbox if you don’t get a response, you can schedule recurring emails to go out, or if you get an email that you need to attend to, but not at that moment, you can schedule it to come back at a time you can attend to it. AMAZING.

     

    Things that are inspiring:

    • Alexandra Franzen for all things writing, communication, and kicking ass. You’ll especially love this woman + her blog if you’re an entrepreneur. Regardless, if you want to take your professional + personal communication skills to the next level, she’s got you.
    • The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. If you’re sick of setting traditional goals, and/or want to align your actions with your values + create a life you love with or without having the things you want, you need this book.
    • Louise Hay: Change your thought patterns + heal yourself from dis-ease. I never believed/tried the power of mantras + changing your thought patterns {even if you don’t believe them} until I read this lady. Now I’m hooked. Whatever reason you have as to why you’re not dating, still single, or whatever, is a belief. Beliefs can be changed, and this woman will show you how.
    • @TheAlisonShow on Instagram. If you love amazingly decorated cookies, adorable kids, and the most genius theme parties, follow this woman. As a female archetype that is not naturally the “nurturer,” she makes motherhood look rewarding, fun, and a little messy.

     

    Date like a pro:

    • Marriage is Funny. Y’all, be sure to check out this incredible podcast I very recently came across. It’s a funny, thoughtful approach to striving for great love, rather than perfect love. I love the messaging, the candid conversations, and the lessons this hilarious couple learns through their own marriage journey. No matter your relationship status, this podcast is entertaining + inspiring to all.
    • Not sure what online dating site is best for you? I found this resource to help you out.
    • Online Dating Profile Makeover – Hey! That’s my program! How’d that get here? January is HUGE for online dating, if you want to jump in + make 2016 the year you set yourself up to meet him + make online date work for you {rather than drain your time + energy}, check out this sweet program {If I do say so myself.}
    • Join our private Facebook community! This is an amazing community of women dedicated to dating themselves, treating themselves the way they want to be treated, and supporting each other through the ups + downs inherent in dating. Join us here.

    That’s a wrap!

    I’ll see you in 2016, I’ve got so much in store I can’t even contain my excitement.

    To making the most of the rest of 2015 + making 2016 bananas,

    Veronica

    p.s. – Oh hey, share this blog with someone you think that’ll love this! Just use the red buttons to the left of you if you’re on or computer or the buttons below if you’re on your phone. Thanks a mil! xo

    How To Be More Feminine {Without Being Girly}

    How To Be More Feminine {Without Being Girly}

    All this month, I’ve been doing my 30-30-30 free calls with incredible women in our community.
    {In case you missed it, in celebration of my birth month, my upcoming 30th year on the planet, AND my 1 year biz-iversary, I’m inviting 30 women in my community to a free 30-minute ask-me-anything session with me. It’s 30 30-min calls for my 30th.}
    I don’t have any agenda set for these sessions. This is you bringing me your most difficult block, question, or “situationship” as it relates to your love life {or lack thereof}

    {Schedule yours here.}

    Since I announced these 30-30-30 calls, I have to say, I LOVE the questions I’m getting. It’s funny how the more specific the question, the more universal the problem.

    Be sure to snag one of these 30 spots before their gone!

    One question last week I got was,

    How can I be more feminine without being girly?

    I LOVE this question.

    Relationships, whether between a man + a woman or 2 people of the same sex, it’s a dance of feminine + masculine energies.

    Every person needs a balance of both energies + every relationship does too.

    I find a lot of ambitious women veer away from femininity {myself included} because to most of our society, being feminine is usually described within the context of being a mother or a maiden. {Think Disney princesses.}

    For most career-oriented women, neither of those 2 archetypes resonate with us. And because we don’t know any better, instead of finding other ways to be feminine we end up becoming a lovelier version of a man.

    Not sexy. And it creates WAY too much masculine energy in a relationship.

    The truth is, the ways you can be more feminine are infinite. This is how I think of how masculine + feminine energies work together:

    Imagine a river. The shore, the river bank, and everything that makes up the actual structure of the river is the masculine part. It’s sturdy + holds the space. The feminine part of the river is the water itself.

    But the river needs both the masculine + feminine parts to be a river.

    If the river didn’t have the banks it would just be a flood, and with no water, it’d be a big ditch.

    It’s the same thing in relationships. A merging of masculine + feminine energies creates a fulfilling relationship. And think about this: a river can be serene + peaceful or thrashing + turbulent. Femininity CAN be the peaceful, serene maiden archetype, all the way to the turbulent, wild archetype.

    How do you know if you’re holding on to too much masculine energy?

    I find there to be 3 tall-tale signs:

    • You’re dating someone, and things seem to be going fine, but then, without reason, he slowly starts to disappear…until he’s gone OR you push him away once he becomes emotionally available.
    • You go on a bunch of first dates…lots of fun, conversation, but it seems more friendly than romantic.
    • An ex has told you he felt like you never needed him for anything.

    Yes, I’ll be doing a webinar + podcast episode {Yup! Mark your calendars, Feb. 14-ish for Date Yourself Radio!} about this early next year, because that’s the only way to do this topic justice.

    My 3 favorite ways to be more feminine without being girly:

    1. Hone in on your creativity. Whether or not you want to have kids, women are the ULTIMATE creators. So create something. ANYTHING. Try one of these DIY projects. Or the next time you’re at work + find yourself in a place of effort, shift your energy + perspective  to work from a place of CREATING, and see what shifts.
    2. Study mythological female archetypes. Studying the archetypes of the Greek goddesses is fascinating. It’s not for religious purposes, but used as a tool to learn about the diversity of feminine archetypes, their strengths, and weaknesses + how they show up in our modern society is incredibly helpful. I’m personally devouring Goddesses in Everywoman.
    3. Receive. Everyone wants to feel needed. You, me, and the person you’re dating. So allow them to do something for you. I don’t mean quit your job + become a homemaker. It can be something small: ask a favor, advice, or better yet, allow him to compliment you. A simple thank you when you receive a compliment rather than shrugging it off or talking it down goes a long way.

    Ok, until my How To Be More Feminine podcast/webinar, I’d love to know:

    What do you do to feel more feminine? How do you think the dancing of feminine + masculine energies has affected your past or current relationships?

    Thanks for being here + sharing with such joy, enthusiasm and love. {Use the sharing buttons to your left to please share with girlfriends you think would love this info.}

    If you haven’t signed up for a free 30-minute call with me so I can help you with a question, struggle, or ‘situationship’ you’re in, go ahead + grab your spot before their gone:


    Sending you much love + feminine energy,

    Veronica

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